3 Easy Ways to Reconnect With Your Child to Support Sleep
It’s never too late to reconnect with your child!
“If you are having a hard day, every day that is a sign that you need to change something in your life. You deserve to feel good. And your child deserves the best of you, not what’s left of you.”
Peaceful Parents, Raise happy kids pg 31
Developing close relationships and emotional attachments with our kids is high on the list of goals for any caring parent. As a result, we think it’s best to forego sleep while we’re doing this.
Tiredly accepting my fate, I also decided to just cope with it………
Exactly what do you think went down? Over the course of the years, I grew exhausted
If you’re on social media, or google anything about sleep you’re bound to get conflicting advice. You’ll see picture-perfect families, which seems like they’ve got it all figured out, connection, sleep, discipline etc. which makes you feel like a failure. If you’re not sleeping, eventually you might just be so exhausted that your relationships suffer and the thing you were most afraid of happens:
……………….you stop connecting with your baby and your family.
If you can relate, we’ll need to work on your baby’s sleep to help you get rest and reconnect.
Thankfully, the good news about connection is that it is never too late to start working toward the connection you both desire. Sometimes all it takes is a brief quality moment where you give it all to your child, with no distractions, no difficulties, and just enjoying each other’s company. In these moments, you will feel fulfilment, and your baby’s love cup will overflow.
It is vital in our program at Brave Little Baby that your baby is surrounded by love and attention, especially before naps and before night sleep. So that when our babies have to sleep apart from us, the process is easier and they are more able to do so.
We love these 3 big ideas that Dr. Laura Markham suggests to help you reconnect with your child:
- When a storm hits, regulating yourself will help you grow as a parent and respond calmly. When our buttons are pushed, we can steer ourselves back on track by first reflecting and not just reacting. Taking each day as it comes. This will assist you in treating your child with respect.
- Fostering Connection Children thrive when they are seen, understood, and feel connected to their caregiver. This connection will preserve your joy in parenting.
- What raises great children is when we coach and teach them instead of controlling them, and when we see an emotional storm as an opportunity to guide them to regulate their emotions and manage their behavior rather than controlling their compliance. Remind yourself that expressing your emotions is healthy. Stay present because he/she requires your loving acceptance. Take a deep breath and tell yourself that this too shall pass.
Our self paced Online Course The Gentle Sleep Way and in our 1:1 support options we make sure moms have this in place and we cover all the underlying problems and struggles first.
Connection is vital and if strong half the battle won!
“There is a reason why airlines tell us to put on our oxygen masks first. We cannot help our children in the best way if we do not take care of ourselves too.
We cannot be actively present for our children if we are anxious, emotional, weary, or exhausted.
There may be days when all we can do is meet our children’s basic needs: feed them, bathe them, hug them, and put them to bed at a reasonable hour, only to repeat the process the next day. Try and make connection a priority when you can.
Try to schedule some reconnection time into your day so that it becomes a habit.
- Plan 5 minutes in the morning to reconnect with each child and ease the transition into the day.
- Give your child a refuelling connection before any perceived disconnection, such as going to the grocery store or going to bed.
- 12 daily hugs: 4 hugs for survival, 8 hugs for maintenance
- When interacting with your child, avoid using technology.
- Evenings are for family – eat dinner together.
- Make a special time with your child every day where they can choose what they want to do- lots of giggles
- Pay attention to your child’s mood.
- Find 5 ways to reconnect in the future if you are feeling disconnected.
Conclusion:
Connection is something that we all feel is important, it also solves many struggles during the day. If your little one feels connected and safe with you, they will in time be ok to separate from you when it comes to sleep and will make the process more enjoyable for the whole family.
Our Gentle Sleep Way course is the best fit for you if you would like to take the sleep thing gently and slowly with a responsive take on it and at your own pace. Do not hesitate to have a look at what we have to offer.
Resources:
- Segal, Jeanne, et al. “What Is Secure Attachment and Bonding? – HelpGuide.Org.” HelpGuide.Org, www.helpguide.org, 1 Oct. 2020, https://www.helpguide.org/articles/parenting-family/what-is-secure-attachment-and-bonding.htm.
- Frothingham, Scott, and Timothy J. Legg. “Secure Attachment: Definition, Importance, and How to Form.” Healthline, www.healthline.com, 20 Dec. 2019, https://www.healthline.com/health/secure-attachment-2.
- Foster, Margit. “Sleep and Attachment — Joyful Beginnings.” Joyful Beginnings, www.joyful-beginnings.org, 20 July 2021, https://www.joyful-beginnings.org/all-content/sleep-and-attachment.
- Markham, Laura. Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids. Perigee Trade, 2013.
